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Aug 5, 2009

If they only knew......

Every summer my son and daughter fly away to visit their fathers. The school year has usually been a long, regimented and restrictive one leaving little time for fun and relaxation. I secretly envy their dads who are given the opportunity to spoil them and provide them with seemingly endless days of fun, adventure, and attention. When the children return home, the first week is full of vacation stories; Friends made and families revisited, recollections of camping trips, treks to the beach, and joyful reunions. I am thankful that they have been well taken care of and feel loved.
In return, I feel somewhat inadequate. I tuck them in at night, hear their prayers, and wipe away the tears they shed for missing the fun filled summer they spent away, and the Father's they spent them with. I try not to take their feelings too personally, but it is difficult. I can only hope that when they are my age, they think back on these times, and appreciate the sacrifices made to ensure they were given the opportunity to be a part of both parents lives. They are both fortunate to have a mother and father, though no longer married, have their best interests at heart and are able to work together for their sake. Many children today are not so lucky, the parents harbor resentment, even hatred towards one another, and the children are the ones who ultimately suffer.
For my children, who will eventually read this post; I love you very much and miss you when you're gone. I miss tucking you in at night, recounting your days events, answering your questions, and kissing you goodnight. Sometimes, when I'm missing you most, I sit in your room, look around, and wonder what you're doing and hope that you're okay. With that, get off of my computer and go clean your room :)

2 comments:

  1. Donald Mac FarlaneAugust 05, 2009

    A beautiful and caring piece my one and only dearest daughter who had her own challenges as a child of a broken marriage with a somewhat broken dad for a while who could provide basic needs, but not many frills that help children feel loved and forfilled. I am proud of the way you have handled a difficult situation with two children of different fathers. Keep your unequalled sense of humor, your objectivity, firmness, but fairness, until those "babies" can help make some of those difficult and at times heartbreaking decisions that will need to be made.

    Loved you then, now and will always,

    Dad

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  2. What a nice post! You are a great mom and I'm sure then they are there you are all they talk about. *See you soon.

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